Overlooked

Although I know I’m loved, (or at least hope I am!) I feel like a lot of times when I talk, people don’t listen or don’t care. 

I’ve felt this for a while. Whenever I speak, I feel like people are apathetic or like I am inconveniencing them. 

It makes me want to close up even more than I am. I hate sharing my emotions, and now no one will listen to what I am thinking? It’s a shot to my confidence, not only in myself but in the confidence I have of the relationships I have.

In every relationship I have ever been in, besides my immediate family, I feel like I have given more than the other party. 

I am in a constant state of wanting to finally be close to someone and wanting to push everyone out because I want my feelings to be fully appreciated. I want to close people out because I know they wouldn’t care or could use this information to hurt me. I’ve been hurt before, and it’s not fun. 

I just don’t want to be overlooked. Not being loved like you love, sucks. Love is not an one-way street. I hope it gets better. I am waiting for anyone to come along and hopefully make me feel like it’s finally 50/50. I am tired of feeling like this about people I love wholeheartedly. 

xoxo, Bails

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